Happiest Sad-Ending

1:17 am
I don't know where to start
It must be nice having someone you really care around you.
It feels like I've been slapped so hard knowing that we are separated in many ways.
This may sound stupid, but
When I feel like I've dug much deeper for myself
And so far I've run to keep myself clear
So you wouldn't know that these feelings are exist
When these words seem so unreachable
I tend to bury all of these deep within me
So you wouldn't know what I've been up to all these time
And I always keep myself as busy as ever
So that you can think that I was doing just fine
Meanwhile I'm not
And gracias for that, I've learned just another important thing that
Making your brain & heart sync at times like this, is nearly impossible.
I know I'm suck at writing such thing like this but anyway,
Thanks for staying in my memory,
my happiest sad-ending.

One thing that every girls need to know!

[WARNING] This post may not be very friendly (explicit content). I'd like to express how laughable and disgusting at the same time these things are.

Another [WARNING]: Do not read this post if you're that kind who LOVES to retweet/repost baper quotes or stuffs because you might get a little offended.

Let's begin with this .gif


Do you see that "why the fuck do you even exist" look on this lovely Chibi Maruko-chan's face?

Yep. If you guys saw my LINE display picture of her, I'll tell you the reason why.
So, I was so happy when I sat on the bench knowing that my mid-term exam has done. And I was scrolling through my LINE when I saw this:

oops. I'm sorry for not censoring any of it.
Yea, I was "what the fuck?" when that sentence hit my eyes. It's just funny how the admin (or whoever created that damn 'quote') demands her/his partner to always free their time for them.

Sorry if this looks one-sided, but consider those who demand this as a girl. So it will be quicker.

May I ask you one question? (of course I can, this is my blog after all)
Have you girls ever demanded this on your boyfie, or your crush, even your husband-wannabe?
If so, you can go fuck yourself and if you know that this is wrong, I'd love to call you a mature woman.
"He has no time for me. He's busy."
"I don't like it when he's ignoring me."
"I wish I could be his number one priority."
and all those grumblings coming out from their lips.
This will cause pro-contra, but let me share my opinions. Especially my view as a guy whose responsibility is to work.
First of all, we're not kids anymore. We ain't do nothing all day long, we ain't sleep all day long, we ain't play games on our computer all day long, or everything you have ever think of to make you girls think that you're not needed in our life anymore.

Big fucking mistake.

As I mentioned earlier, one of our responsibility is work, is to make money. We've got to work our ass off to gain some living. To keep breathing in this world. And here's the truth. Most of us guys (including me) would love to make sure that everything is well-provided when the right time and the right person comes.
We'd love to make our future lady lives comfortly with us in the future. We'd love to make sure that everything's alright. And that's why we need to focus on our 'duty' as a guy and you girls HAVE TO understand that this shit has got real. And we apologize if you girls feel like we're ignoring you, or we're not putting you in the first place.

We do this for you girls as well, not only for ourselves.



This doesn't mean I'm against those "work hard together" couple. I love seeing them fight together and helping each other. That's cute tbh. I'd be really glad if I tend to find one of those hardworking girl tho. But I, personally, like to do things my way.

And oh, about those guys who replies your chat in a blink of an eye. Those 'caring' guys you think has put you in their 'number one' priority list. Congratulations! You just found your perfect guy who's in his bed all day long fucking with his phone and his social media.
May you live happily ever after!

Just kidding,
go fuck yourself.

The best part of being single, and being screwed up

Well, another late night thought is passing by. 1:30 am and here I am having my insomnia. While I supposed to study, which I didn't do at all, where all of my friends stay up late for studying, here I am writing this.

Let's begin with this image as an illustration:

Yes, this pic reflects me. so accurately.

Belakangan ini gue screwed up banget, but not mentally screwed up. I am talking about some 'positive' screwed up. Let me hit a little throwback (this may cause a little controversy) when I decided to break up with my ex. That was about 6 (or more I guess) months ago.

I know right.

I just realized that I made a right decision. After since.

Ini akan menjelaskan apa yang gue tulis di judul. I was planning to set the title as "pretty screwed up!", but I've changed my mind right after yesterday's sharing session with my fellow d'bijish HAHAHAHA.
Di tengah kesibukan gue yang sangat amat melelahkan jiwa raga, dimana gue berulangkali ngedrop karena kecapean, dimana kuliah gue keteteran karena banyak banget yang mesti diurus diluar, gimana gue selalu sampe rumah di atas jam 8 malem udah kayak orang kantoran, dan hal lain yang mungkin gaenak buat didenger dan dialami oleh kalian....

Gue bersyukur karena gue diberi kesibukan yang berat kayak gini.

Gue bukan orang taat beragama. Gue jarang ke gereja. Tapi gue tau kalo hal ini adalah hal yang harus banget gue syukuri, bukan gue keluhkan.

Kemarin gue ditanya sama temen gue ketika gue ngeluarin unek-unek gue soal kesibukan ini.

"menurut lu, semua hal yang lu lakuin ini se-worth it bermusik lu ga?" (he did mention 'bermusik' because I told him and the others that I got the chance to perform regularly in a mall, and being paid)

I was speechless. Temen gue ini ada benernya, gue tau ga semua worth it 'buat gue'. But I keep doing what I've been doing this whole time.
Gue berpikir dan akhirnya gue bisa menjawab temen gue ini. Emang ga semua worth it di gue, apalagi kalo kita ngomongin timbal balik. Ngomongin tentang apa sih yang gue dapet selama ini? Setimpal ga sih sama yang gue beri? Kenapa sih gue rela repot-repot, buang waktu tenaga buat sesuatu yang gaada untungnya di gue sama sekali? Dibayar engga. Ditegur dan dikritisi terus iya. Capek? banget. Butuh istirahat? sangat.

Tapi apa gue menyesal gue ngambil tanggung jawab ini in the first place? not at all.

Gue sadar gue lelah, dan gue emang penat banget. Tapi disini gue ngerasa kalo yang namanya tanggung jawab dan konsistensi, it's a big deal. Seriusan.
Gue yang memutuskan untuk ambil jabatan sebagai production manager di suatu unit kegiatan di kampus gue, atau menerima jabatan ketua di salah satu organisasi kepemudaan di gereja, masa ga gue akhiri sendiri?

Dari kesibukan dan situasi screwed up gue selama beberapa bulan terakhir, banyak banget yang gue bisa pelajari. Kenapa gue sempat menyinggung 'insiden' dimana gue putus sama mantan gue?
Karena gue melihat, justru momen itulah, ada titik balik di dalam hidup gue yang bisa bikin gue kayak sekarang. Gue memang belom hebat-hebat amat untuk ngomong soal beginian, but it's the truth (and cheesy at the same time tho).

And that's the best part of being single, like I did mention on the title. Gue bisa explore semua yang gue mau, gue bisa banyak belajar. Gimana sih rasanya jadi orang sibuk? Gimana sih ngatur time-management yang cuma 24 jam sehari supaya ga berantakan? Gimana sih cara bertanggung jawab terhadap satu hal, tapi di sisi lain lu ga meninggalkan tanggung jawab yang lain?

Karena itu gue bersyukur banget.
Kalo gue punya pacar, prioritas gue pasti di dia semua dan gue gaakan punya waktu untuk ini semua.

I do all of this for my own sake, for my own happiness. And I'm pretty sure, that when the right time comes, all of my hardwork will pay off.

And I'll let my story end right here and right now. Catch you guys up later! Do your best for your own sake!

A little story about Forever Within Days

(August, 16th 2015)

Let me share a little story on this #throwbackthursday.

Yes, we were formed in 2014 (whoaaa its been 2 years)

And there was a little fun fact that I created this band based on jealousy over my friend (hella sure it was).

So it took long enough for me to be in a band again since the last time in 2012 when I and my middle-school mates formed an acoustic band. I surely remember that the first event we attended was BEEVOLUTION 2014 where we didn’t reach anything. At all. As a founder, I was all alone. There was a moment of me being clueless, and helpless, because I didn’t know who to ask until that one time I saw @vitogun ‘s instagram video of him playing his guitar. And I was like “oh I need someone better than me obviously” and that’s where I decided to take Vito in, with only “ah gapapalah paling cuma jadi band musiman, abis beevol bubar” state of mind. And today we’re here, ready to make our movie clip of our newest cover.

And this photo? Well, this is the highlight of our biggest performance so far (in my opinion), where we performed in front of 2000 people, it was an amazing feeling (that was the first time I take the lead-vocalist role). Oh and the name? It’s a simple story. I was inspired by Ansel Egort’s quote. (The fault in our stars). End of story.

And what I just realized is that I’ve learned a lot. Literally a lot. Gimana pusingnya nyari anggota yang konsisten dan cocok sampe harus gonta-ganti mulu. Atau ngerasain senengnya pertama kali rekaman, atau pegel bolak-balik minjem bass, bayar studio yang mahal, sampe marah-marah sendiri gara-gara latian ngaret, cuma demi sekotak nasi sehabis perform. Atau bahkan ngatasin minder karena takut kebanting sama band lain yang lagi perform. Well, if everyone has their own masterpiece, this is mine. Forever Within Days!

Btw, we’re new on instagram. Go give us a follow! J @fwd_band